Managing Resentment and Self Pity
Most of us can feel a little put upon from time to time, but for some people, indulging in this kind of behaviour frequently can lead to deep resentment, bitterness and self pity. Self pity occurs when a person who has self centered tendencies, becomes offended by someone else. They then redirect the resentment they feel towards the person who offended them towards themselves. The result is that self pitying people see everyone else as being a success and themselves as failures. This causes them to resent their position in life and to feel taken advantage of by others.
Unfortunately, some people who suffer with chronic self pity can become apathetic in the pursuit of their goals, whilst blaming others for their lack of success.
Self pity and resentment are very destructive emotions that fester and grow the longer they remain unchecked.
- Do you suffer from resentment & self pity?
- Do you feeling short changed by life?
- Do you often say or think “Why me?”
- Do you often resent other people’s good luck, health, happiness and success?
- Do you feel that you grumble a lot?
- Are you often irritable?
- Do you feel as though you sulk a lot?
- When sick, are you reluctant to admit any improvement?
- Do you often feel like a victim?
- Are you rarely pleased or satisfied with your circumstances?
Ways to help
- Stop replaying past hurts. Replaying past hurts in your mind causes real wrongs to grow worse, and wrongs that are merely imagined assume a life of their own. You then embellish the situation to make it worse than it actually was, casting yourself as a victim in the process.
- The only person resentment and self pity hurt is you. Resentment doesn’t resolve anything, nor does it do anything to change the person we resent. Resentment allows the people who have wronged us to win, because they dominate our thoughts.
- Write down your resentments. Resentments seem more powerful when they’re in your head but once you write them down, they often fail to look as powerful and you’ll see them as what they are – 90% your own creation!
- Stop indulging in negative emotions. Self pity and resentment are self indulgent and seductive behaviours that provide false comfort. You need to train your brain not to succumb to dwelling on them. Tell yourself it is a waste of your time and if need be, start doing something else to get yourself out of the negative mindset.
- Practice appreciation. Start appreciating and becoming grateful for all the wonderful things in your life. Try writing down a list of all the good experiences you have had during the last week on a Sunday night. You have more to be grateful for than you think, it’s just that you’ve trained yourself to think mainly of the negative.
- Exercise can really help your motivation and self empowerment. It will also increase the production of feel good endorphins that lift your mood.It is very difficult to exercise and feel self pity at the same time!
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