this is from one of my favourite personal blogs dealing with recovery (“addiction, “not drinking”, “depression/anxiety/fear”, “love and sex”), blu3nude.wordpress.com, it’s very open , honest, and vulnerable (some things i wish we could all be). so when you get a chance, go there, wish her a happy birthday (june 21 is her birthday), or even wish her a happy belated-birthday depending on when you read this. But beware, she is a “snake” afterall, (but in a good way). Happy birthday again Blu and thanks for sharing your 12 Steps! – 😉
Re-writing the 12 Steps to suit my own personal recovery was what started this blog for me. I wish everyone would re-write the 12 Steps as an exercise to better understand how the 12 Steps work. And to better customise and personalise their own recovery from their own addiction/disorder/dysfunction/affliction.
Anyone else who has their own personal version of the 12 Steps, and would be willing to share it, please feel free to send it to me. – MH
my version of the 12 steps – blu3nude.wordpress.com
so here’s my version of the 12-steps for the path that i am following. i reserve the right to change them as my path changes. and i also reserve the right to go back to aa should i change my mind and decide it is what i need. i know they’ll have me back, probably welcoming me with smiles on their faces.
- i admit that i once i start drinking, i cannot stop. alcohol has pervasive negative effects on my life, and i cannot continue to drink. i don’t need to wait for something terrible to happen before i come to terms with this admission.
- i came to believe that i can focus my thoughts and my mind more in tune with reality.
- i made a decision to focus my life on the present moment of reality, to see how my life fits in with the flow of the universe, and just go with the flow.
- i examined my beliefs, thoughts, expectations, how i treat other people, and how i fit in with the universe and how these need to change.
- i released to the universe the exact nature of my wrongs.
- grounded in reality, i accept my past for what it was and allow myself to move forward
- see #6
- grounded in reality, i make a mindful effort to restore the balance for any harms i have caused. i seek forgiveness from myself and the universe.
- see #8
- see #4
- see #3
- i share this knowledge to anyone who wants to hear it. as these steps are personal to my view of the world, i continue to direct all alcoholics/addicts seeking help to aa.
the 12 steps seem to have some magical connotation to them, and they are certainly focused on a higher power, aka God. i believe that god lies within me, but not the same God that most people think of. i carry the power within me, as does everybody, to make the world a better place. i don’t need a power without to tell me to be nice to people. i say please and thank you not because of God, but because it makes the world a little bit better, and maybe that kindness will be passed on. everything i do matters to the universe. everything you do matters too.
my drinking served to detach me from a reality i did not want to face. in general terms, i lost my sense of security, and alcohol seemed to solve all my problems at once. but i really just lost my money, my self-respect, my control, my joy. i lied, i cheated, i reacted inappropriately to everything that wasn’t in tune with getting me my next beer. but i stopped drinking, hopefully for the last time, 34 days ago.
right now, i don’t think aa or the 12 steps are for me, but i do hold a debt of gratitude for the aa’s that reached out to me here and guided me in the right direction, and for my local aa group for sharing their stories with me. they allowed me to sit in the back of the room and just listen. i don’t know if i’ll ever go back, but i don’t plan on it anytime soon. the God stuff rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go, and i see a lot of co-dependency there as well. those things just don’t sit right with me, and never will. while i know the literature says the 12-steps are just a suggestion, there are a lot of extremists in the aa groups i have attended that think otherwise and speak loudly about it. in my experience with life in general, those that speak the loudest often are not the brightest in the room, but i am biased because i am generally quiet.
i have faith that i am on the right track for my life. certainly, everyone is different. i know that aa and its 12-steps has worked for many people and will continue to for many in the future. and the knowledge that i gleaned at my meetings helped me get this far. once i was able to see the reality of my life, i had no choice but to commit to change. i am more in control of my thoughts and reactions and, by focusing on how i fit in with the reality of the universe, i am able to see myself much more clearly. the key here is reality.
source: http://blu3nude.wordpress.com/ – a great blog about “addiction, “not drinking”, “depression/anxiety/fear”, “love and sex”, y’know, the usual. 😉