Posted by: RealisticRecovery | June 2, 2009

Funny: New Beer Warning Labels

New Beer Warning Labels

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

  1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
  3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
  4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
  5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
  6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.
  7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
  9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can’t remember)
  10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
  11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
  12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
  13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
  15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

source: this an old email I received a long time ago. Was somebody trying to tell me something? I can’t remember.

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Responses

  1. hopefully you never got pregnant 🙂

    • “hopefully you never got pregnant”
      LOL

      well… not that I KNOW of , anyways. I think.

      but I did have a few # 9’s in my day. ugh

      LOL
      Mike

      • Ha ha! (and ewww). I hate it when that happens. It’s nice to be able to think about things like this in the past tense.

  2. “…may make you think you can drive better than Mario Andretti.”

    Nice list – and it goes on and on and on.

    Man Alive

    • “…may make you think you can drive better than Mario Andretti.”

      I can drive better than Andretti (but only when HE’s drunk).

      ha, Mike


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