Letting Go Takes Love
Author unknown (introductory note by Tina B. Tessina, PhD.)
When you feel beset in your life, and people close to you seem to be difficult and uncooperative, consider that they may be reflecting back to you the behavior your own anxiety is creating toward them. Learning to let go of your obsessively trying to control others can free you to receive the best they have to offer—which may look different from what you think you want, but actually be the perfect gift.
Instead of rejecting and turning away from people who are giving you trouble, try accepting who they are and what they are doing (that doesn’t mean allowing them to abuse you) and learning to let go.
Because addiction, anxiety and obsession are related, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings have great handouts on letting go…here is one I often give to my clients. If you read it as obsessively as you think the negative thoughts, it will help you to literally change your mind—that is, grow new neuronal pathways in your brain, which are much more calming and productive.
LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
Remember: The time to love is short.