Posted by: RealisticRecovery | March 21, 2009

Recover What? from RecoverYourLife.wordpress.com

Here’s an entry from another blog , RecoverYourLife.wordpress.com, that touches on a topic I have thought of myself at times, do I want to recover my old life or do I want to start a new one? – Mike

We speak about recovery and often I wonder what is “recovery”, what does that mean exactly.
And then of course I begin to explain it to myself:-) Well, I wanted to recover my memory, that was missing when I entered recovery. I also worked hard for a few years in trying to recover a family that wasn’t actually gone anywhere and that certainly sort of led me down a dark and fearful path.
Today I look at recovery and think, well I actually converse with myself about the fact that I really wasn’t wanting to recover my life exactly, what I really wanted was to create a new life. The reasons I used wasn’t because my life was so great prior to that I wanted it back….heck no.
I wanted a new, interesting and fun life! Today I have that and I guess in order to get that I certainly had to start somewhere and that had to be putting the bottle down!

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Responses

  1. i think i recently realized that i have to let go of my old expecations and create new ones that are more based in reality.

    all addictions are somehow based on unrealistic expectations, because we think that the drug/behavior involved will make things better, when, in fact, we know they will do just the opposite.

    i’m still trying to let go of my old self in order to accept who i am today. and it’s not that i’m creating a new self — i am already this person who writes this today. i just have to let go of all the expectations of the old self, because they are out of tune with reality.

    i really think that i just need to adjust my expectations to be more in tune with reality, and then i will be comfortable in my own skin.

    hopefully that makes sense — it made sense in my head before i wrote it down.

    i’m starting to appreciate more your version of recovery based in reality. or maybe it’s just that your version of reality is similar to mine. not sure. but thanks again.

    • hey blu,

      yeah, I realized a while ago I don’t want to re-cover the old Mike , or re-vert back to a previous version of me.
      I’m a dysfunctional person from a dysfunctional family, and product of a dysfunctional culture.
      That’s not who I want to recover back to.

      So I’m trying to re-invent myself.
      To create a new version of me I haven’t been before.
      A version that seeks out truth and reality, and won’t settle for less or impostors (drugs, booze, addictions), and won’t tolerate bullshit (dysfunction, co-dependence, unrealistic beliefs and superstitions.).

      It’s working.
      One way I have proof it’s working, is that no previous version of me would have put up a site like this, reached out to people I’ll never meet, and try to help to them find info so they can see they are not alone.

      This site is helping me, as also I can see a great transformation in you also (with your site) from your original posts to the last two I just read. (“my version of the 12 steps“, and “anger“).
      Great posts btw.

      “i really think that i just need to adjust my expectations to be more in tune with reality, and then i will be comfortable in my own skin.”

      That makes an extreme amount of sense, and I think for alot of us addicts that could mean raising expectations about ourselves.
      Alot of our fears are unrealistic and help us avoid reality, and our realistic possibilities.
      (these words are easy for me to write btw, but hard to remember and live, LOL)

      Mike

  2. Well, I’m glad you’re here.

    It’s hard for me to write a lot of the things I write, but the feedback is priceless. I don’t think there’s another place where I can be so honest and have people be so kind (yet honest) in response.

    There’s such a vulnerability about recovery, and I feel at times I could just fall apart. But when I read something that tells me I’m not alone in this, it makes me feel like I might just be on the right track, and that’s enough to get through it.

    I had to let go of any friends I did have, because everyone I knew was a drunk/addict (and therefore full of bullshit). And I’m not the best at making friends to begin with, so sometimes I really am just alone. So it’s nice to know that I am able to connect with people on a real level — that there’s not something inherently unlikeable about me. I’ve just raised my expectations.

    I could never go back to being the person I once was. I can see my own bullshit from a mile away.

    One thing that I like about your site is that you cover so many different aspects of being a better person. It’s not just my mind, but my body too that requires more nurturing. I don’t think I could heal one properly without the other.


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